Death of a friendship *Personal Post, just needed somewhere to vent

Today I ended an 11 year friendship. It's been dieing since October, when she said/did some really hurtful things. It's been on life support ever since, and today I finally decided to pull the plug. People change, I've changed, but she wasn't willing to accept it. Lives get busy, but true friends can meet up after not seeing each other for weeks and pick up just as they left off. We've always had conflicting views on having and maintaining different groups of friends, she pretty much thought it couldn't be done, while I have several groups who I keep in regular contact with. Ever since high school this has been an issue, from when I first extended my friendship circle to include "work friends". And it's just gotten worse from there. If I had previous plans made with one group (usually weeks in advance) but she insisted on calling me that afternoon to make plans, when I declined she would call me a bad friend, and say that I was always picking others over her. It was like being in an abusive relationship. In the last year it's gotten worse, constantly critisizing my school decisions, work decisions, relationship decisions, personal decisions... I couldn't take it. So as the year dragged on I slowly started standing up for myself and made a point to try and get our friendship back on track. That was until my birthday, after everything that had happened, I figured we'd be able to at least have a non-drama filled night for my birthday celebrations. I quickly realized this would not be the case when she came and dropped off her boyfriend at my party, then told me she was literally just dropping him off, and then leaving to go to a different party instead. I was hurt, but didn't want it to ruin my night. Until I later heard that she had told everyone in my kitchen (some of mine and Vincent's friends) that the reason she wasn't staying was because I wasn't a good enough friend to deserve her being there. I was hurt, bad. It wasn't what she said, I've had her say that 100 times before, and then we got over it, but to say it to people in my house on my birthday, instead of just talking to me, was the lowest thing that she has ever done.
For weeks I boiled inside, so angry that she wouldn't just talk to me, everytime I saw her after that she acted like nothing had happened, which would have been the normal course of events had she actually told me... maybe she didn't know I knew, who knows. All I know is that I should have talked to her then, I should have just dealt with it, but I wanted to avoid the conflict. I tried to just cut off all contact, just walk away without explaining. But I caved pretty quick when our other close friend started talking about Christmas, I figured if this was going to be our potentially last Christmas as friends I should maybe try and patch things up, if for no other reason than to make myself feel better. But it did the exact opposite, I felt angrier than ever that she didn't even try to apologize or show any regret for how much she hurt me that night. If I had dealt with it back in November when I should have it wouldn't have been so hard, but after today it was clear.
Today, she invited me to her son's birthday on Saturday, being a super busy month for work (Roll Up The Rim just started) and people (I have 8 close people born within 10 days of each other) I explained that I might be late leaving work, and I'd already made some birthday supper plans weeks ago, so I could come right after work, but leave before they ate dinner. To which she replied "Forget about it, just don't come". I realized in that exact moment, that it was over.  I realized that even if I changed my plans to go to this party it would be the most awkward time to be there with her. There was no way around it, I'd brought myself to a point where I couldn't stop, so I just laid it on the table "Maybe you're right, I hope he has fun. I hope you have a great time. See you around someday. But I'm done." And with that last sentence the friendship died.
She then proceeded to post on facebook about "the bitch move" I had made. So I deleted her, I'm done reading crap written about me, and decided that the drama is over, maybe it was a bitch move, but honestly I am done, I just can't bring myself to care enough to try and salvage it now. What was said has been said, I can't take it back now, and neither can she. I wish her all the happiness, and health in her life, I just won't be in it, and I don't want her to be a part of mine.
So here we are, I'm almost relieved, all that built up animosity is gone. I know it's going to be awkward, we have alot of mutual friends, so we will have no choice but to see each other from time to time. But hopefully we can exchange polite pleasantries, but I'm okay with just ignoring each other for now.
At 22 years old, I'm happy to say, for the first time I'm walking away from the drama instead of being sucked right back in. I just never imagined it would be like this.

Lazy Sunday :)

So time for an update :)
I'm going to try to do this once a week, probably on Sunday, since it's my guaranteed day off during the week.
So not a whole lot has happened this week, work was work, nothing too out of the ordinary. Haven't really tried out any new recipes, made a wicked "eye of round roast" in my new slow cooker. Om nom nom.
It snowed...alot. With more still in the forecast. Winter avoided us for Decemeber, but it's making up for lost time now.
Owen (Vincent's nephew) turned 3 yesterday. crazyy. It literally seems like yesterday when Jenn told us she was pregnant. He's so big and grown up now. Seeing kids grow blows my mind. Having our own someday is going to be nuts. Haha, thinking about offspring created by Vincent and I is one hilarious thought.
So, other than that, I think I'm pretty much out of that funk I was in, started exercising again, which was the biggest help and definitely something I needed. I also started reading the Bible. Honest. I was a fairly intense Christian in jr high and most of high school, but never bothered to actually read the book that the entire faith is based upon. So I figured maybe I should actually give it a read through. I've been essentially Agnostic for the last few years, going to church on occasion and praying from time to time, but nothing really substantial.
 But I feel like I should give it a chance (of course without turning all crazy fundamental). I've started a reading plan called "The one-year bible" pretty much it gives you little bits from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs to read everyday, it only takes about 15-20 minutes, and so far it's... interesting. Maybe I should start a separate blog for that, I'm sure some of my Christian, Agnostic and even Atheist friends would find something interesting about it.
So that's all for me this week,
Oh and since tomorrow is mine and Vincent's 5 year anniversary (on Valentine's day, lame haha I know)
I leave you with my favorite Valentine

I'm back :)

So after close to 3 years, I've decided to make a triumphant return to the world of blogs.
With my promotion, and with school likely in the near-ish future, I've entered kind of a funk. I have no particular problem with anything, Work is fine, Me and Vincent are doing good, and I'm looking forward to going back to school, but even though everything is fine, I don't feel happy, not sad either, kind of like I'm just going through the motions without emotion. (This is getting a little deep haha) Anyway, so everyone who I've talked to so far has given me the same advice "If you don't like it, then change it", So I've decided to break my work-home-eat-clean-sleep routine by getting back to my blog, among other things, just finding stuff to write about might just take up enough time to break the cycle :)
So in upcoming posts you can expect updates, random news facts and probably a recipe or two.
So now I leave you with...